Pink taser

Coincidence level: 8/10 Category: Fucking weird

This story is one of those original very uncanny ones. This happened to me a very long time ago and would change the course of my life.

One October, I had been in a stage of entertaining multiple love interests, when I met up again with one of them at a bar one night, unwittingly, because of mutual friends.

“Did you text me?” Gabriella asked me.

“What? I don’t even have your number,” I answered.

“I got a text from someone with your name.”

“What did the text say?” I asked.

“This is [you], add me on yahoo.”

I laughed. “No one uses yahoo, that must be spam.”

We carried on with our night. But then, later that same night, I received texts from an unknown number:

“Does Ms. Michigan want another massage?” (I grew up in Michigan)

That was weird. I didn’t respond. Another text:

“I just want to be close to you again, but sober.”

In my head I ran all sorts of scenarios as to who it could be. At that point in my life, it was a scattered bag. I stopped responding, but this mystery number would continue to text me a few more times and also call without saying a word — I’d pick up the phone, and there would be absolute silence.

That same weekend, my roommate had informed me that she was moving back to Australia, and I’d put an ad up on Craigslist for her room.

A girl from DC messaged me that she wanted to see the room on that same Sunday, and I agreed.

Sunday morning rolled around, and I discovered an email from the potential Craigslist roommate, early morning:

“How did you get my number?”

I emailed back: “Excuse me?” Ok, the actual email was something like, “What are you talking about? I don’t have your number.” Even her email was anonymized through Craigslist.

“But you texted me.”

I stopped cold. I emailed back: “What did the text say?”

“This is [you], add me on Yahoo.”

Well, I properly freaked out after that, messaged Gabriella, and told her everything that had happened.

“You’re gonna get me killed!” she said.

And then she followed up with, “Let’s discuss this looming threat over a drink.”

She came over to my apartment almost immediately, with a taser, a pink one. And then she never left.

We spent an amazing, beautiful, exciting, miraculous, 5 years together, and we had this (still unknown) stalker to thank.

. . .